Quilting: The planning process

Posted on March 20, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

At my son’s school they are having a fundraiser at the end of the month. Each class will be responsible for contributing a silent auction basket. As the head room parent, it’s my responsibility to coordinate the completion of this basket.

I was recently informed that the basket needs to include an item that the kids have contributed to in some way. My original idea included a ceramic object that the kids would decorate and then I would have it glazed and fired. It didn’t work out – the staff member at the ceramics shop didn’t think my idea would work and wasn’t able to help me figure out a way to make it work. So I moved on to a different project.

The theme of our basket is “Family Movie Night”. We will be including movie theater candy, popcorn, some DVDs, and hopefully some movie tickets. For the item that the kids contribute to I will be making a lap quilt. I will be using the school colors for a 4-patch quilt with white squares that the students will help me decorate.

I have purchased the fabric, washed it in hot water and dried it on high heat to make sure it is completely pre-shrunk. Today I will press the fabric and begin to cut my squares and strips. Yesterday I spent some time with colored pencils and began to color in a template that I have of the quilt I’ll be making. I wanted to get a better sense visually of what it will look like.

Source: Uploaded by user via Simply Gabriela on Pinterest

I’m happy with the way it looks so far. After the kids decorate the white squares I’ll play around with the best placement for them. I will have 2-3 kids per square to keep the size manageable. If I were to do one square per student it would be much larger than a lap quilt.

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Do you quilt? What’s your planning process like?

SOC Sunday: Stuck in a pigeonhole

Posted on March 18, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

Here for another installment of Stream of Consciousness Sunday hosted by Fadra of all.things.fadra. I’ve got some other things on my mind so I won’t be answering the prompt but here is the prompt if you’d like to join in and link up:

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: How do you feel about where you live?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about my creativity or lack of it lately. This week I was thinking of a project for my son’s school. As the head room mom I’m in charge of putting together a basket for the silent auction for an upcoming fundraiser. One of the items in the basket has to include an item that the kids have contributed to or participated in. Our class will be putting together a movie night themed basket.

Many of the room parents at the school have the kids decorate a ceramic item and then have it glazed and fired. I TRIED going this route, I really did. I had a wonderful idea of getting a popcorn bowl and then having kids use their fingerprints to make “popped popcorn kernels” around the rim. I went to the ceramics place and looked around. We won’t be able to use yellow paint for fingerprints and the other color that was possible wasn’t inspiring me.

I sent my husband a text and complained not only about my predicament but the staff person’s lack of assistance. She just gave me attitude about what I wanted to do. It all changed when I sent him this text:

“I don’t have time for a sewn thing, that would be a lot easier for me”

From there it became a frenzy of texts and deciding to make a lap quilt. Still fitting the movie night theme it would a lap quilt to curl up under during family movie night. A million ideas started flowing and I’ve now purchased fabric to take this on.

This got me thinking about the lack of creativity I’ve felt recently. I’m not sure what’s being truncating the flow of ideas. Well, I know I’ve had a lot of other things on my mind and creative endeavors have not been at the forefront.

Apparently, blogging has been in this category. I have recently felt like I’ve been stuck in a pigeonhole. It’s been my own doing: DEAR Monday, WIP Wednesday, FO Friday and SOC Sunday. I’ve gotten to the point that if I don’t have a post that fits one of those themes on that particular day then I don’t write a post. I don’t know where along the line I told myself that this was the rule. But, Hello? this is my blog I can write whatever I want, whenever I want. Duh! Big headsmack! This is liberating already.

So in the past couple of days I’ve broken out of the pigeonhole of having to do a ceramic item for the silent auction basket AND I’m breaking out of my self-created pigeonhole of having to write certain posts on certain days. I think I see smoke coming out of my ears from the whirlwind of ideas flying around in there. Woooooohoooooooo!

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s a five minute brain dump. This week I wrote until it felt like this thought was complete. Link up at all.things.fadra

SOC Sunday: What a week

Posted on March 11, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

I’m back for another installment of Stream of Consciousness Sunday hosted by Fadra of all.things.fadra.I’m not going to be answering the prompt this week but here it is if you’d like to write about it and link up or go visit Fadra to see what she and others have written.

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: Have you reached the prime of your life? What do you want to be your legacy?

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What a week…

On Monday I had an appointment with my rheumatologist. He believes that my RA and fibromyalgia are both flaring up due to increased stress. I definitely have had an increase in stress the past 4 months or so. There has been a lot of additional stress since before Thanksgiving. My doctor decided to discontinue one of my medications and to increase the dose of another one. He also told me that I had to reduce my stress. It would have been helpful if he would offer some tangible suggestions for how I could do that.

I went on an amazing field trip with my son’s class to Año Nuevo State Park to see the elephant seals. We had a great time, the views were breathtaking, the elephant seals were majestic. And of course, I overdid it.

My legs have been bothering me a lot lately – I’ve been having a lot of muscle spasms e.g. tightness in my calves, hamstrings and quads. My hips have been bothering me, particularly my right hip. I often wake up with pain on the outside of the hip joint and I feel very sore right at the hip joint. Thursday I saw my primary care provider and she said that the soreness at the hip joint is not in itself a joint issue but a muscular/soft tissue problem. I will start physical therapy on the 20th. She also recommended doing a stretching routine in the morning and at night as well as looking for beginning/gentle yoga classes to help my muscles loosen up and not lose conditioning.

The appointment with the podiatrist on Friday went as I expected. I’ve been feeling the plantar fasciitis acting up in both feet again. I know the symptoms and the sensation that I feel when it’s acting up. It started to feel the way it did in October 2010 when I was told that I was tearing the plantar fascia in the arch of the foot. Just like in 2010, I am back to wearing a boot cast. For the next 4-6 weeks I will be sporting a walking boot cast on my right foot this time. Luckily, I don’t have to wear it while I sleep and I will, of course, take it off for driving. I think I want to decorate it, the plain black is so boring.

This week has left me feeling a bit deflated. One step forward, three steps back. I know that it could be worse and trust me I’m deeply grateful that it’s not any worse than it is. I was reading a post by RA Guy yesterday and so much resonated with me. He wrote about the importance of being confident in the decisions we make, his focus was on his decisions about his treatment. Two points that he wrote about that really hit home for me were “Connecting with my non-RA self” and “Failed Hope”.

I was talking to my husband about this and how the appointments this week really affected me. After a week of doctor’s appointments and the setbacks that have been confirmed for me, I feel like anything I’m doing right or trying to do is overshadowed by the RA. I am not my conditions, I happen to have these conditions. It can be easy to lose hope about how my body is responding to life, my attempts at taking care of myself and the treatments I am using to manage it all.

Apparently this is further proof that I haven’t learned my lesson. This is obviously an opportunity for me to sit back, reassess my boundaries and stick to them. I can’t expect for things to continue as they have been and expect different results. Isn’t that the true definition of insanity? Do things the way you always have and expect different results.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s a five minute brain dump. This week I wrote until it felt like this thought was complete. Link up at all.things.fadra

AHA! I haven’t learned the lesson yet.

Posted on February 28, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

Apparently my bouts with indecision have been happening for a long time. Need proof?

On December 15, 2010 I took pen to paper and wrote this:

It’s always an interesting experience to read before I write. It almost feels like a ritual now, like I HAVE to read before I can write.

Maybe I read in hopes that the answers are already there, written on the page, waiting for me to come back and discover them. I don’t even know what they’d be the answers to. I don’t know what I’m asking or what I’m looking for.

Maybe I’m hopeful that I’ll look back and find that I wrote something good, that I had one day when I felt good, that I wasn’t stressing about something, that maybe one day I knew. Maybe I knew and I forgot. Maybe I know but if I know how come I feel like I don’t know.

I think I enjoy complicating my life. I want it to be simple, I really do. Ho do I do that when there are so many complications. What makes my life complicated?

Sometimes everything. Too much to do with not enough time. Too much stuff without enough space. Too many needs/wants without enough resources. So much desire without enough energy. It looks like there’s a huge disconnect between supply and demand.

How do I even it out? How do I begin to clear my plate of extra crap that I don’t want on it? How do I set the boundaries of not giving everything of myself & depleting me to meet someone else’s needs? How do I ask for what I need? without feeling guilty, without making demands, so that I can be heard and have some of those needs met. By trial and error?

There doesn’t appear to be a manual… maybe that’ll be my book. Maybe I’ll write the manual. But how? if I don’t know either.

I found the journal I had written this in today as I was moving some things around trying to improve the use of space in my craft room. I read this last entry and remembered the conversation I had with Jennifer, acupuncturist extraordinaire, last Thursday about setting boundaries and not falling into a self-sacrificing trap and cycle, again. When she mentioned that it’s not the first time I find myself in a predicament because I don’t exercise my “No” muscle enough I blurted out:

“It’s like the Universe is telling me I haven’t learned the lesson yet.”

And it appears that this is the truth. I keep falling into an old pattern of self-sacrifice, of putting others ahead of myself, of employing looser boundaries that are necessary for my current self. I’m not sure where the pattern started, I don’t know where I learned it, maybe it’s hardwired into some part of my DNA or my psyche that I’m not aware of right now. Maybe it’s the “Good Latina Mom” in me, sacrificing myself for the betterment of the kids. Even though I know that the opposite is true. Whatever it is, I need to do something different. This isn’t working, again.

DEAR Monday: The Hunger Games

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

The Reading & Winen Book Club decided that we wanted to read The Hunger Games Trilogy as part of our first set of books to read. We decided to read the first book and continue on to the other two if possible before our next meeting. I was looking forward to reading these books as I’d heard such good things about them. There was so much excitement around book releases and the upcoming movie.

I quickly read our first selection, Dating a Cougar. It was a light read, quick and witty. There were some scenes that were a little risque but nothing too graphic in my opinion. There is talk about sex so if that makes you uncomfortable, maybe it’s not the book for you to read.

On to The Hunger Games… Oh my goodness, I can’t believe how slow the book starts out. I must’ve fallen asleep 5 times in the first 20 pages. I struggled to get through it. I was not impressed with the story, the writing, or the characters. Molly finished reading it first and encouraged all of us saying that it got better after page 90. I kept trudging through the book hoping that she was right. The book definitely picks up at about that point as things get more active but I didn’t like how the book ended.

I did read books 2 and 3, Catching Fire and Mockinjay respectively. I powered through those to get some closure and completion on the story. In my honest opinion, I don’t see how there were 3 books in the series. I don’t understand the hype. Letty, Molly, and I threw around the theory that maybe we had such a hard time with the first book because we are not in the target age group. However, we discarded that theory because there are many other people in our age group or older that were fascinated with the books.

I think that if the movie is done well and they create good special effects for the action scenes that it could be great. I’m not sure I’ll go to the movie theater to watch it. I’ll wait for the first reviews to see if it’s worth it. If not, I can always wait for it to release on DVD.

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Have you read The Hunger Games? If so, what did you think?
What are you reading now? Do you recommend it?

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I call it DEAR Monday because when I was in elementary school the reading time during school was called Drop Everything and Read or DEAR. I also found that I would complain a lot about another Monday coming along and I decided to be nicer to Mondays. Mondays are the days I come to my little corner of the Internet and write about what I’ve been reading or plan to read.

SOC Sunday: This season

Posted on February 26, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

My husband and younger son were off of school this week for a mid-winter break, ski week, or some other reason. I don’t really know why they need a whole week off in February when they just had Christmas break. Oh well, we enjoyed a nice week together. We went to the beach, exploring outdoor science exhibits in San Francisco, just spending time together. Our older son was off on Monday for President’s Day and we included him in other stuff after we picked him up from school. I’m not going to spend a lot of time talking about that but instead I’m participating in Fadra’s Stream of Consciousness Sunday this week. As you may remember, Fadra has included optional writing prompts for us each week.

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: Define the season of your life at this very moment.

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I was thinking about something very similar to this topic earlier this week. On Tuesday, my husband had to go in for meetings even though they were on vacation. I took advantage that our son was still sleeping and I watched Rachael Ray’s 1000th episode of her morning talk show that I had on the DVR. I told my husband that I was feeling conflicted – proud of Rachael Ray after seeing her so many years on TV to achieve that level of success (I admit I felt a little foolish of feeling proud of someone on TV who I have no connection to) and at the same time feeling sad for myself.

I was sad because Rachael Ray has a passion that she has followed, she does such a great job at it and she looked so happy! I feel like I don’t have that…

I’m almost 35 years old (there I go admitting that on the Internet again) and I have the time and opportunity to do what moves me, what lights my fire, what I’m passionate about. Yes, I have the challenge of my body not cooperating 100% 100% of the time but I don’t believe that should stop me from pursuing something on my own. The problem is that I’ve lost sight of what that is.

I have a lot of interests, a lot of things that I can do, things I can do well but I can’t pinpoint any one thing that I can consider to be a passion to propel me forward. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I don’t have the personality or maybe the attention span to do one thing, that I have to do various things. That’s why I can’t ever have just one knitting project at a time. That’s why the book Renaissance Soul resonated with me on a level I couldn’t understand. I think it’s time to re-read the book.

My current season: I am a mother, a wife, a woman interested in crafts that wears jeans and running shoes every day. I need to feel comfortable in my clothes and in my surroundings. I read books – a lot of them. I write this blog. I connect with people who are in similar situations to me. I am a woman with chronic health conditions not my chronic health conditions themselves. I do not let my health define me. I don’t work outside our home (Thanks hunny! I appreciate not having that additional pressure) and I have the opportunity right now to shape the rest of this season and to work on a plan as to where I go from here so that next season I don’t find myself in this same conundrum.

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This was my 5 minute-ish brain dump. Link up at all.things.fadra and check out more posts.

Reset and Refocus

Posted on February 25, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

Sometimes when the depression takes over and when my body goes into rebellion I have to take a moment to step back hit the reset button and refocus. This last episode with depression was difficult, I was much more vocal about it and I tried all the tools and techniques that I know have helped me before with little relief.

I’m happy to say that the depression is lifting. It feels as if it ran its course and had nowhere to go but away from me. Maybe talking about it more, sitting in the discomfort and the darkness, feeling it more fully this time are all making this improvement feel so much better. I can’t say that I did anything specific for it to lift, for it to go away.

I’ve taken some time to sit back, hit the reset button, refocus my energies.

I’m doing my best to stay on course with taking care of my body – this includes eating a gluten-free diet as much as possible, drinking lots of water, adding some movement in as I can, and taking my medications as directed. I keep going to acupuncture every two weeks because I know the benefits of it are essential to my well-being. I try to keep my brain stimulated by reading and keeping it engaged. Ok, I know reality tv is not necessarily the best way to keep my brain stimulated but it’s a small indulgence.

I’ve been trying to keep myself talking about what’s going on instead of stuffing things and putting them away to fester to overwhelming levels. This is supposed to help my emotional well-being. Talking to and staying connected with friends helps too.

My friend, Kim sent me a wonderful Random Act of Kindness that we like to call a Random Act of Monster. I received a beautiful Petunia the Patio Monster (Ravelry link) from Rebecca Danger’s The Big Book of Knitted Monsters. Petunia was a very welcome addition to my home and has also been helpful in fighting my recent monsters. Isn’t she adorable?

The love and support from friends and family has been great. Now that the depression is getting better, I’ve got to focus on my body getting better.

DEAR Monday: Reading & Winen

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

This weekend we had the first meeting of our book club. Molly, Letty, Marcia, Gracia and I all met to discuss books, drink wine and apple cider, share snacks, and talk life in general.

Molly, Letty, Marcia and I all went to high school together. Gracia is Letty and Marcia’s cousin. We had a lot of catching up to do and re-acquainting ourselves. We had a great time chatting while snacking and enjoying some refreshing beverages. I don’t drink alcohol, mainly because of my medications but I also just don’t like it. I’ve never gotten into drinking wine. The ladies enjoyed some red wine, it must have been good they were all raving about it, and I had some delicious apple cider. I’ll get the wine information from Molly and let you all know what it was.

We talked about our reading habits, our favorite genres and some recommendations as to what we should read. We decided to read Dating a Cougar by Donna McDonald, this is the first book of the Never Too Late Series. When we finish this book, we’ll move on to The Hunger Games trilogy. We spent some time downloading books onto our iPads and smartphones. Luckily our first selection is available for free on Amazon for the Kindle.

Dating a Cougar and chilled apple cider

Our next meeting is on March 17th and we’re hoping to have read the four books by then. For now, we’re going to meet monthly and keep each other updated via Twitter. Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. We named our book club “Reading and Winen” since we have a dual focus of books and wine. Our first meeting was seven hours, I think most book club meetings take about two hours but four bottles of wine later we lost track of time.

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Do you belong to a book club or share reading with friends? Do you have any recommendations for what we should read? Let us know in the comments.

Wonder Woman FAIL!

Posted on February 9, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

That’s a photograph of the tattoo I have of the Wonder Woman logo. The three stars represent my husband and my two sons. The banner says “MSW 2007″ – Master of Social Work, the degree I received in 2007. That was 3 years after diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I had a 12 year old and a 4 year old. I pursued the Master’s Degree with an emphasis in health and mental health. It is my firm belief that I had to go deep inside and find some true Wonder Woman stuff to have survived a full-time graduate school program, married with children and doing internships as a therapist – first to primary school children and then to adult victims of crime.

Almost five years later and I don’t know what happened to all that Wonder Woman stuff I had in me. Maybe there was a limited supply. Maybe I used it all up. Maybe I’ve just been delusional all this time and I never had it.

I know Wonder Woman is a fictional character… I’m not that delusional, at least not that I’m aware of. I’ve loved Wonder Woman since childhood – watching re-runs and spinning around in circles in the living room hoping that my outfit would change, longing to have a golden lasso of truth and an invisible jet. I think the invisible plane would have been to escape. Some days I’m still longing to escape, that’s one of the reasons I’m obsessed with reading. At least while I’m reading I’m lost in someone else’s story, someone else’s drama.

On many occasions, you’ll find me wearing one of my many Wonder Woman t-shirts or my sweatshirt, I’ve been wearing the Wonder Woman belt my husband kids and kids gave me for Christmas on an almost daily basis, I always have my tattoo. All this in an attempt to convince myself that I have it in me, that I have the strength and the powers to deal with it all. I can handle anything that comes my way.

Maybe I am delusional. I can’t handle it all. Recently I’ve been overwhelmed. There’s too much going on around me, then my brain kicks in and assures me of all the ways I’m wrong, of all the ways that I’m failing, of all the ways life would be simpler if I could hide under a rock and disappear.

Here’s the kicker, I’m very self-aware. I know when I’m slipping into a depressive episode. I’ve been through many bouts of depression and I’ve seen various therapists and taken anti-depressants. Usually I notice it, vocalize it and work towards getting out of it quickly. This time, I don’t seem to be succeeding. I noticed it, I vocalized it yet nothing I’m doing seems to be working to get me out of it. I don’t want to take anti-depressants again, not with my current medication combination. I can’t afford to go to therapy, I’d rather go to acupuncture. Besides that, I know what would happen at therapy. The reassurance of no woman being Wonder Woman, that none of us can do it all, none of us can handle it all. The reminder that it’s me being too hard on myself.

So, I’ll save the money on the therapy sessions, I’ll hang on to my childhood dreams of being Wonder Woman. Tomorrow I will pop in the Wonder Woman DVDs (I own all three seasons thanks to my husband), spin around in the living room in hopes of my outfit changing and in the hopes that everything will resolve. Even though I know realistically that life is not that simple and that Wonder Woman didn’t battle my kind of demons on the show.

WIP Wednesday: The endless slouchy hat (knitting)

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Simply Gabriela

Hello everyone! I’m still working on the Sockhead Hat that I’m making for my sister-in-law. It’s turning out to be slower than I expected. I’m using sock weight yarn on size 3 needles and it’s stockinette stitch in the round. I really did expect this to go much faster.

I suppose that since I haven’t been able to work on it everyday and when I have worked on it I can’t for very long because my hands end up hurting from the fiber/needle combo, I shouldn’t be expecting that it will go extremely quickly.

I am currently at 9 inches from the cast on edge. I’ve got another 4 inches to go before I begin the decreases. Sockhead Hat is a free pattern available on Ravelry and at the bohoknits site.

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I’m linking up at Tami’s Amis for WIP Wednesday and at Small Things for Yarn Along. Many great project are linked up with them, go check them out.