The other shoe dropped

I knew it was going to happen… I just wasn’t sure when or how bad it would be. As soon as my mom had the stroke, my body shut off. I had been having a Rheumatoid Arthritis AND Fibromyalgia flare before my mom’s incident, as soon as it happened my body went into ‘caretaker’ mode and my flare and all the symptoms were gone. Poof! Just like that.

With that said, I knew there would come a point when my body would say “Hey, things have settled down now so listen to ME again.” Wednesday morning, yesterday, about 36 hours ago.

I woke up with a lot more stiffness, with swollen, red, achy joints, with sore muscles, with nearly no energy whatsoever. Pop! There went the bubble. It was awful, it sucked big time. I got up anyways, got the kids to school, took care of my mom, my aunt came over to visit, and so on. It’s a situation where I couldn’t let my body’s tantrum take over.

Just like today, I had my methotrexate injection and I was nauseated to no end but I couldn’t deal with the nausea during my mom’s Occupational Therapy appointment. We ran some errands after the appointment. We went on the hunt for some items she needs to continue occupational therapy at home. There are times when even though my body is trying to kick, scream and pitch a fit I just have to move on and ignore it.

We’ve been dealing with a lot. Both kids are having issues at school – one is completely out of character and unexpected, the other… well… it’s just a situation that makes me shake my head. I know that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, it always does. I hope that they both take the opportunities that are being presented to them right now and learn from them. Hubby is having issues at work with some of his employees’ efficiency and accuracy in completing their jobs. We end up fixing easy mistakes at 10 pm so that he can go to work the next day and not have to worry about it.

We’re still adjusting. We’re adjusting to our new definition of normal. Things will settle down in a few months, there will come a point when my mom won’t have an appointment nearly every day of the week. We’re integrating the newness of my mom’s situation and care into the fold of what every day is. It will become a part of the routine, it will fit into the nooks and crannies of the schedule and the calendar. I still wish I had a day with 36 hours so that I could have more time to get more things done. Things that I want to do aside from only the things that I have to do.

I’m slowly getting back to the things that got put aside when my mom had her stroke. Trips to the post office and other errands like that which didn’t seem urgent until now. It’s really bugging me to see that there are packages that need to be mailed off and I haven’t gotten around to them yet. Sigh… 36 hours in a day, just one day, that’s all I’m asking. I know that when I was in college I used to pull all-nighters to get stuff done. Those days are gone, I can’t function if I pull an all-nighter. I need sleep, I truly can’t function without it. With that said, I’m going to bed. It’s 10:30 pm and my intention was to go to bed an hour ago.

By the way, this morning was much better: less stiffness, less achiness, a tiny bit more energy. I’m glad we got through the day. Now, to sleep to be ready for tomorrow.


6 thoughts on “The other shoe dropped

  1. It will take time to adjust. You’ve done a great job of keeping EVERYTHING together, in addition to supporting and caring for your mom in this healing process. You really are my Wonder Woman!

  2. “This too shall pass”….. all the little things don’t matter. You are doing a great job, tell yourself that. Is there guidance at school or anything that can help the kids? I hope you take care of yourself too, and feel better soon. Maybe a little R&R is in order?

    • Thanks for the reminder that “this too shall pass.” Both kids are getting support at school which is good. I definitely think R&R is in order, I think I’ve forgotten what that is though… :)

  3. Gaby, I have been praying for you and your family daily. I will definitely continue to do so. Please remember to take a little time for you or you will be of little use for anyone. Sending love….

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