I can’t believe how quickly this year has started off. So many things have happened it’s not even funny. Dare I bore you with the details? There are some exciting things that have begun to happen. That I’ll definitely tell you about, but not just yet… Is that evil? How I make you wait for the juicy news…

Ok, chronologically… I started the reconditioning group at the Pain Clinic. It didn’t work out too well. It was not the group for me and it wasn’t the right time. The group was counterproductive to what was supposed to be helping. Maybe it wasn’t the right time, I know that once I made the decision to stop attending the group I felt a huge, ginormous sense of relief.

We went to Disneyland with Mr. Bubba’s family (his parents, 2 brothers, sister, cousin). We had a great time, our boys really enjoyed being there. I did really well, I must I’m proud of myself for pacing really well. Making sure that I wasn’t going to need a week to recover from being on vacation. We hadn’t all travelled together, so it was definitely an interesting experience. A good one, but still an interesting experience.

Our baby turned 6… Mr. Snugglebunny is now 6. I don’t know where the time has gone. I stop and look at pictures of my kids when they were so little and look at them now and wish and pray that I will not miss a moment of their growing up. There are times when I wish I was Evie Garland from the show “Out of this World” so I can stop time and keep my kids little. Little enough that I can protect them from all the evils of the world, so that I can still make them feel better with a hug and a kiss, so I can still fix everything. However, I know that their growing up is a process… one for all of us. A process in which we learn to let go and let them experience life and the ups and downs that go with it. Experience the joys of a job well done and the disappointment when things don’t go their way. (Ok, I got a little philosophical on that one…)

And now I give birth again, no not to another human, I already have two of those. Now I give birth to the next phase of my professional life, my professional life as a business owner. It is difficult in these economic times to feel confident to put myself out there and say to the world, “Hey, I make this product, you should buy it.” I had been thinking for a long time of a way that I could contribute to our family financially. I haven’t worked since the end of March ’08. We are managing but I tend to feel guilty over not contributing to our income. My husband has in NO way pushed me to look for work, has not made me feel bad that I am not working. In fact, he has been supportive and encouraging in my journey to heal and feel better. We know that we will always have RA and Fibromyalgia in the car with us on our journey, but they don’t have to be the ones driving the car. They can be silent passengers.

That’s another scary aspect of starting a business, what will happen when there is a flare-up? We have to figure out the contingency plan. Inevitably there will be a flare-up, it is the nature of the conditions. It’s possible that the sheer “stress” of starting and operating a business can bring one on. This is why it is even more important right now for me to focus on balance and self-care. I have to be strict with myself about setting boundaries, knowing and acknowledging my limitations, saying no – often, listening to my body and my wise self as they tell me what I need in order to continue moving forward.

Today, I made my first sale to a retailer who wants to carry my product in his store. We started off with a small order so he could see how it would do in his store. It was very exciting to have someone write a check out to my business. A check that I can take to the bank that says to me that someone thinks it is worth their money to invest in my product.

I know, I haven’t told you what the product is or what it’s for. The website isn’t live yet, there is a holding page but not much else. It’s in the process.

I am blessed to be surrounded by people who support me on this phase of my journey. People who are doing everything possible to get this dream off the ground, people who are investing their time and energy with me, and for me. There are still things to do, things to set up in order to get completely off the ground. My company will have a booth at a large event at the end of the month. Once we have all the information up and running on the web I will put it out here.

I am doing my best to avoid the skeptics and the nay-sayers. I know this will be successful. There is no way it won’t be. I am starting this with the best intentions and with lots of good energy. I won’t let anyone take that away from me. Not this time, too many times I’ve listened to the negative voices and let them convince me to talk myself out of something good. Let them take the wind out of my sails then sit back and enjoy another failed attempt. Not this time. I am working hard at not letting the negative voices of my own internal running commentary burst this bubble.