How do we stay connected with friends, family members, and anyone else we may want to stay connected to? There are many forms of communication but which one is preferable? It’s a matter of choice of course. There’s phone calls, text messages, e-mails, comments on networking sites like MySpace.

What has happened to personal communication like letters, cards, visiting in person? I heard a commercial on the radio today that to help save the environment we should send e-cards and not paper cards. And while I understand we all want to do what we can to be conscious of the environment, are we willing to give up the personal touches of a handwritten note or birthday cards? There are a lot of ways to be environmentally conscious but do we have to stop being personal in order to do it.

The other problem with staying in touch using whichever method we choose is that often times we get so busy with the day-to-day things to do that we may not always find the time to make that phone call or send that birthday card. What about sending an e-mail? Much less trying to find a time that works for everyone to get together… especially when you have kids and they have activities with practices.

Then there’s the need to stay connected with our spouses/significant others. How do we do that when we have to work full-time jobs, tend to the kids, supervise homework, clean the house, wash dishes, do laundry, take care of pets, eat, sleep, shower,and so forth. This is probably one of the most important relationships for us to work on, aside from our relationship with ourself. But how do we do this when we have all the responsibilities to take care of. Do we schedule something? or hope that we can do things spontaneously? What happens when spontaneity seems to never come around? Will it feel forced if we schedule something regularly?

I don’t know how to do it, what I do know is that it is very important to do what is possible in order to maintain these relationships, with friends, family and especially our significant others and our kids.

I’ve been decluttering a lot in the house. As I run across stuff I know that we will no longer use, no longer fits, isn’t loved by anyone, is broken, and so forth, I’ve been finding ways to get rid of stuff.

I enjoy posting usable items with little to no monetary value on Freecycle (a Yahoo group available in most areas where people post offers or requests of usable items that are FREE), it’s wonderful to have someone come pick up an item that they need or want and know that it is not going to end up in the landfill or just taking up space and energy in our home. Using Freecycle I have recently gotten my 5-year-olds Exersaucer that he used as an infant and that a friend of mine used for her daughter, who will be 4 this year, the Exersaucer has been in my garage for at least a couple of years if not longer. Just this past week I also I gave a loveseat to someone who just moved into a new place and had no furnishings and two wing chairs to a Wellness Center at a local high school.

Clothes and shoes that are still in good condition get bagged up and go to Goodwill. The Goodwill location I go to has a “drive-thru” donation area. Just drive up, open the trunk, unload the bags, get a receipt and drive away. No need to find parking and carry bags down the street. Another good place in San Francisco is Community Thrift Store on Valencia Street. You can designate a charity for proceeds of the sales of your donation to go to. I prefer Goodwill because of its convenience and their convenient hours.

Athletic shoes that are no longer in good condition go to Lombardi Sports because they participate in Nike’s Reuse-A-Shoe program that recycles athletic shoes into reusable materials including safety materials for playgrounds in inner cities. Definitely better than throwing them away.

The easiest way is definitely to do this as I run across things. For example, when putting away laundry if I know a particular piece of clothing doesn’t fit one of us then it goes into the donation bag that I keep in the closet. If it’s my younger son’s clothes then it goes into a separate bag for a friend who has a son younger than mine who can fit the clothes.

Not too long ago I was looking for the garlic press in one of the kitchen drawers and since I couldn’t find it quickly I emptied out the drawer, finished preparing our dinner and while it finished cooking, I wiped out the drawer, put back only what I knew we needed to keep and let go of quite a few kitchen items that were not being used or we had too many of. How many kitchen tongs does someone really need? Definitely not 9 of them! At least we don’t.

So, again the way I’ve found it to be most effective is to declutter as I run across things, every time I open a cupboard, a drawer or some other area do a quick perusal and see if there is anything that can be given away, donated or if it has to go to the trash and immediately put it in the designated area for donation, write a post for Freecycle or put in the garbage. Whenever possible donate or give away an item, no need to send it to the landfill if there is a possibility of someone else being able to use it.

So often we are lured by what we absolutely have to have… whether it is the newest cell phone, the hottest new shoes, that purse that will finally organize all of the backbreaking stuff we carry around. We are unfortunately inundated with commercials, ads, campaigns that tell us that what we have isn’t enough, that to be better we need [fill in the blank]. We need hair dye, face cream, laser this or laser that… because we obviously don’t look good enough. Never mind needing the right bra that will cost us $50 or more because our breasts aren’t perky enough, we don’t have enough cleavage or gravity has affected them. We need better cell phones, home phones with features, faster Internet because we don’t communicate well enough. We need diet pills, diet foods, diet drinks, diet books, workout DVDs, exercise clothes from the latest designer because we are not thin enough, or healthy enough. I don’t know that this will ever end… when will we stop receiving the constant onslaught on our self-esteems? Someone fills their pocket by preying on our self-esteem and building up our insecurities. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting the tools that can make our lives easier but we should be the judges of what those are. I’m trying to let go of my own urges to succumb to the bigger, better, faster syndrome. It is a work in progress definitely, but I’m glad I’ve become aware about the dynamic. At least by being aware I know I can do something about it. Here’s to progress not perfection and being content with being good enough!